My First Love

He was without a doubt my first love

We’d go through hell and back just to see each other for another day

We’d hit rock bottom and still come up from the top

We’d fight til we saw blood, sweat, and tears, but our love kept us alive

Everything in life became unimportant, as he was the only thing in my life I needed

To this day I wonder what kept us together after these years, but in all honesty, I’ll never know

Trust was broken, fears laid out on the table, and abusive signs peeked through the fragile glass

Still, we fucking loved each other to pieces

Now imagine if trust was gained and we improved as individuals… sparks would turn into fireworks and set the city on fire

My dearest, my first love, I will always love you

But it’s time that I start loving myself.



I felt love and now all I feel is empty

We strive to hold on but we’ve done that plenty

We got the music to our ears

Smoke within our lungs

Drink in our blood to refrain our tears

We had the world at our feet

Our dreams were reality

The sun gleaming down on us

We were two happy endings

Never the less we were ending

True colors shown through glass mirrors

We fought to keep our love free from errors

Time has come and and the cord was cut

Because this time around I’m being true to the feelings coming from my gut


Lately, I’ve been evaluating my actions, mindset, thoughts, emotions, and the words that come out of my mouth.

All my life I’ve been a free- spirited wild child and I did/said whatever I felt like doing or saying (to whomever); even if it hurt that person. Knowing that the truth was exposed makes me feel better than holding it in because it would only hurt me on the inside.

However, as of lately, I’ve been noticing the actions I make or the things I say to certain people and I’ve been reflecting on those words that were spoken or the moves that were made, because I’m curious to know if it’s the right thing to do or not.

I don’t like to admit this, but I’ve always been stubborn and had a little bit of an anger issue. Those two don’t make a good mix, especially when somebody tries to poke at me or disrespects me. So, when somebody tries to mess with me, I get all riled up, and say things that I don’t mean or act in an aggressive manner (besides being physical) because my emotions go through the roof.

I recently got into a huge argument with my family about the same issue that we’ve fought about for about 3 years, then I realized, for once in my life, where I’m at fault and why the same old annoying argument continuous to be brought up to this day. Instead of pointing fingers at my family and assuming they’re at fault, I tried to understand where I was wrong, and why they felt the way they did about me.

From that point on, I promised myself that I would write about this topic, then find ways to cope with my anger, stress, and extreme emotions.


  1. Listen: I learned to stop refusing to listen to others, because you’re only repeating what you know and you’ll never learn or grow from that point on, until you give other people a genuine listen.
  2. Breathe: Taking a few deep breathes, instead of holding the anger in. It will be beneficial, not only to calm your nerves and stress, but when you take a few breathes, it will help you think more clearer and stay calm.
  3. Think: Think twice before saying something that you will later regret. Think twice before walking out the door and creating a scene or prolonging the argument.
  4. Choose: Choose your battles wisely. If this is something worth fighting over and coming up with a solution, then follow steps 1-3, and finally come to a compromise with the person you are dealing with. If this is not a battle worth fighting for, for you and the other party, then simply drop it.


I hope these tips helped! Take care and love on.


Poem to my Ex – Love Kills

 I gave you my heart, every single piece of it
But there you lied and said you’d cherish it
Things were good at first though it seemed
But those were the highlights of what we previously dreamed
3 months went by until we made the changes
Controlling one another until we’d fed our insecurities in arrangements
Falling in love has never been so easy
We were a perfect match and that’s why we burnt out so quickly
It’s crazy how we go by daily
Treating one another with respect then the next acting crazy
They all say your first love is usually a painted daisy
Due to the love and high that’s produced it makes our minds go hazy
Then came a twisted turn of fate
When we were fighting really late
The sky covered in clouds dark and grey
Thats when we began to realize it was time to run away
Our bond kept us close yet killed us the same day
We knew, for us, the end was near
So we began to stay really clear
Distance grew as our relationship failed
Because the one thing we did wrong was turn tail to bail
Lovers become strangers so easy
Funny how that flows so breezy
But I wish you the best EJA, you were never a mistake.
Now all that I’m left with are memories and a heart break
But this is our chance to grow and avoid any future aches
A piece of you remains in my heart, even though last night you did me wrong
I’ll never forget the person who came
Into my life and put my past to shame
But thanks to you I have grown and learned
To respect my self and body because that shit’s earned.
I hope one day we’ll come to our senses
Avoid our egos and break down these fences
Between our success that stands a wall
Which puts our relationship at expenses
I hope one day we can be friends
By coming together to make amends
Till then farewell
I wish you and your family well


1/1/2016 – 7/28/16

1 Year Anniversary

I created and published this blog for myself and to inspire and motivate others. I can’t believe it’s been a year since I was in the worst condition of my life. It’s been an incredible year of growing for me, physically and mentally. I’m more than thankful to have been given a second chance at my nursing program. It has given me the opportunity to make beautiful friendships, to meet an amazing man who I’m proud to call my boyfriend, to develop habits that I never thought I’d stick to.

By expressing my thoughts, feelings, and writings through this blog, I am more healthier and happier than I’ve ever been.

I vow to continue using this website until the end of my lifetime

I vow to write completely original, raw, and useful information

May 21, 2016

Love poem

Your words lay onto me like a silk dress to my skin

Your love lifts me in ways that is impossible to imagine

Your laugh turns my softened face into a grin

The depth in your soul is so stimulated that it breathes passion


I feel your thoughts as I brush through your hair

You saying I’m the only one provides me with air

I choose to love you every day

Baby, we both know our love will never turn gray


As long as I’m alive on this planet

I’ll always paint your face on my canvas

A love so pure some call it titanic




Fear is built from the thoughts we create in our own head. Fear is our own worst enemy because it fuels off our own energy. The more we dwell on the past or become anxious about things we are not in control of, that is when fear takes its first step into our lives. Fear is capable of physically and mentally preventing us from doing the things we wish to do.

Life without fear would be ideal, right? Does such a thing exist?

A dear friend of mine once told me, “imagine if you woke up and you were laying on your death bed soon to be dying and wishing to be young and free again so you could relive your life to the max… now open your eyes and realize that you are young and free.” That shit hit me like a ton of bricks. That’s when I realized, it’s time to put the bullshit excuses aside and get out there and chase my dreams.

There’s nothing holding you back from living the life you want, except for the dark circle of fear you’ve drawn around that thought. Take out your eraser and erase the BS. It is now your choice to make the first move on whatever it is you want to do.

Again remember, nobody is perfect, but being fearless is one step closer to living the perfect life. You only live life once, might as well live it to the fullest!